Monday, May 30, 2011

Top Ten Ways To Annoy Someone

There's nothing better than really getting under someone's skin is there? I make a living off of it really. The only reason I haven't been fired is because I am the comic relief in my office, so they couldn't possibly fire me right? Right. Anywho, I annoy quite a few of these business oriented guys and girls throughout the day. How do I do it you may ask? It's actually quite easy.

10. Laugh. You can do one of two things with laughter. You can laugh at EVERYTHING that comes out of someone's mouth, or if someone thinks they are hilarious, you laugh at nothing. Example: My cat died last night. HAHAHAHAHA. It annoys that person and maybe if you're lucky annoys them to the point of tears. Meanwhile, the wannabe clown will hate you if you totally ignore his attempts at comedy.

9. Grammar. If you work in an office, one of the best ways to annoy your coworkers or boss is to be illiterate. It works on tons of levels. You can basically spell everything wrong: It mackes u look absilootly retarted and ennoys the crap out of evryone. OR you can be a 12 year texting girl and write everything in shorthand or text message. Hey U! THX 4 THE KEWL PEN :-) C U L8R! The best though is just to write backwards. stI yllaer gniyonna.

8. Forward every dumb email imaginable. Scour the internet for every dumb email, and forward it to everyone. It's the most annoying thing in the world to be looking for an important email only to have to salvage your way through Britney Spears jokes.

7. Then What Happened? If someone tells you a story, always follow up with "Then what happened?" Keep going until they want to shoot you.

6.Avoid eye contact. If you always avoid eye contact, or look directly at someone's forehead at all times, they either think something is wrong, or they have something on their heads.

5. Tell a joke. A really really really really really really long joke. Forget the ending.

4.Set the copy machine to 200 percent, extra large, 99 copies.

3. Be a neat freak. It annoys people when they think they are dirty. Carry around Lysol and spray everything they touch. Wash your hands every time you make contact with them.

2. Always sing a catchy song out loud all day over and over.

1. I know! No matter what anyone says to you throughout the day, reply, "I know!" EVERYTHING! Even if it doesn't make sense. I know gets people everytime.

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